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Disappointment.

From the moment I was born, I was already a disappointment.

Coming from a family of guards, we are never expected to break the tradition. My grandfather, the past consigliere, and my father, the current head of the caporegime, are influential people in the mafia world. Our family, the Ricci’s, swore to devote the entire bloodline to one family—the Romanos.

The Romano family is infamous in the mafia scene. The leaders of the pack. The most lethal clan there is. And we, the Ricci’s, worked alongside them for years and years, protecting them from the countless threats they face every single day.

Produce the best protectors—that’s what my family always wanted. That’s why they had always preferred sons over daughters, and they had d*mn good luck in that department too. My grandmother gave birth to five sons, and all of them became part of the caporegime, with my father being the highest-ranked. Much to their delight, those sons gave birth to only sons too. My three brothers represented what the caporegime needed—strength, wisdom, and sin.

Everything was perfect.

Until I came.

Like a curse that came to ruin everything, I was born—the only daughter in the entire Ricci clan. The only disappointment in the family.

I really wasn’t supposed to be born at all. If my mother didn’t oppose my father’s request to get rid of me, then I wouldn’t even exist in this world. I don’t know what’s better, really. There are definitely some days when I feel like it would have been better if I had just ceased to exist.

From a young age, I have always been confused. My father loathed my existence from the moment I was born. I didn’t know what I had done wrong. I was a normal girl who loved flowers, dolls, bright colors, and the like. I thought that was a normal thing to do. However, it wasn’t normal inside the Ricci household. My father wanted me to be strong, emotionless, and brave, so he took everything I loved away ever since I was young.

Again, I didn’t understand. It was never like that for my brothers, anyway. While they were allowed to go to school and experience the daily life of a teenager, I was stuck at home being homeschooled. I was practically surrounded by only four cold, colorless walls as I grew up.

Comparisons basically ruled my life. “Women are inferior to men,” I would always hear. And although it infuriated me, I couldn’t do anything about it. As time passed by, I guess I just got used to it.

But I guess it wasn’t that bad. I had my mother with me, and she was the only person that kept me sane—that made me feel loved. Whenever my father went to work, we’d sneak out to the flower garden and play with the butterflies. I could still remember her smile—the smile that melted the coldness that I felt in my heart.

However, all good things are really bound to come to an end.

That dreaded day came—when I lost her smile.

One rainy night, my mother and I were left all alone in the house because my father wanted to train my brothers in the harsh weather. I didn’t really mind one bit at that time. I was actually happy that I could once again show my real self in the presence of my mother. We were having a movie marathon at that time when somebody suddenly knocked on our door.

We thought that it was my father and brothers who had already come back, so I scrambled to get rid of all the evidence that suggested we had a movie marathon while my mother went to get the door.

I still regret ever doing that.

I should have been the one to answer the door.

5 years ago

“Mom,” I called out, dusting my pants to get rid of the popcorn bits that had accumulated when I was snacking on them. I felt proud of myself since I was able to get rid of all the evidence before my father came into the living room.

“Mom,” I repeated once more, frowning when she didn’t respond.

“Mom,” I said in a much louder voice, swiftly walking to the door. However, my footsteps halted when I heard my mother’s voice, along with multiple other voices. It was strange, though, since I couldn’t recognize them. That could only mean one thing—the voices do not belong to my father and brothers.

I stayed behind a large wall to peek at the current situation. My eyes widened in surprise when I saw the scene before me. Multiple men dressed in black surrounded my mother. I froze in my spot when I saw one of them pulling a gun out from its holster.

It seemed as if time had slowed down, and yet I still couldn’t do anything. The man smirked, although his face couldn’t fully be seen because of the hat that he was wearing. And with that, he placed the gun right over my mother’s head and fired without any hesitation.

Bang